


Death of a Dream

by WolfenM



Category: The Sandman (Comics)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Death, Episode Fix-it, Episode Tag, F/M, Gen, Philosophy, Reincarnation, ruminating on the nature of the universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 18:51:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17606969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfenM/pseuds/WolfenM
Summary: Morpheus has a post-series moment with Death.





	Death of a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: I confess that I (still) haven't read ALL the Sandman series— just about half— but having already been told how it ended, I skipped ahead. See, I got an idea about Death and Dream .... So anyway, unless you're like me and tend to jump to the end (nastybad habit, I know), you might not want to read the fic here if you haven't finished the series .... If this story seems familiar, that's because I wrote it years back (like around 2000) & it had been archived elsewhere. I "tweaked" this story in 2011, and again now, in 2019.
> 
> Disclaimer: Death, Dream / Morpheus, Daniel, Desire, Despair, Destiny, Delirium, Nada, and Matthew © Neil Gaiman & Vertigo/DC Comics. NOT used with permission.

 

 

* * *

"Where am I?" wondered the lost soul, that which had been known once as the King of Dreams, among other things.

He (or maybe just "it", now?) had assumed that, in dying, he would simply cease to exist. He had believed, before his death, that a body was _all_ he had been -- and now he had no body. Why was this? Wasn't being one of the Endless enough? He had to have a _soul_ , too?

Abruptly he became aware that he was not alone. It was not that he _had_ been alone and suddenly wasn't, but rather that he was suddenly aware of what he had not been aware of before.

And he was getting more confused by the minute.

"Come, he-who-was-Dream-and-is-still-my-brother."

The presence with him now had shape; he recognized it as Death, one of the Endless. One who was _still_ endless.

He had questions, but then the dead _always_ had them, he supposed. He didn't know what question to ask first, so he asked the one which was spurred by her arrival, even as it was probably the least important of them.

"Still your brother? How can this be? As you say yourself, I am not Dream, Death. Does that not mean I am also no longer your brother?" He felt strange calling her by name. As an Endless, he had never done that.

She laughed, and her laughter was short and sharp as a gasp, yet lingering as the echo of bells.

He realised then that she was far more than he had ever known or understood her to be, and that she had _always_ been so, that this extended state of hers was nothing new. But _why_ had he never noticed the rest of her? Had being Dream limited his perceptions somehow? For that matter, what _was_ he, now that he _wasn't_ Dream? That was his next question, and he asked it without waiting for an answer to the first.

"You _are_ still Dream — and so am _I_ , Morpheus. Even when we change states, we never really lose what we were because we all " _are_ ", and ever will be all that is. _All_ of us. You, me, the gods, the humans, the cats and dogs and microscopic germs--we are all each other, all at once. So remember and know while you can, in this moment, all that you have forgotten — you have little time to enjoy the memory before you forget again. You were not the first Dream, Morpheus. Many times already I have had this conversation, and several of those times were with _this_ you. Do you remember what I told you about Nada?"

"What? What has that to do—"

"Have you ever thought about how different you looked when you first met her?"

"I ... I was _Dream_! It was part of my nature to take whatever form I wanted—"

"I suppose, but that's _not_ why you looked different. You were a _different_ Dream then, though still you and not another Dream altogether. And when Nada died, you died soon after. You decided for a time that, if being Dream meant you could not love and be loved, you would not be Dream. So you died and lived again as a mortal. You lived _several_ lives as a mortal. But Nada was still in hell; you could not be with her, so you eventually decided to return as Dream again. And that was not the second time you had been Dream— you have been Dream many times before that first meeting with Nadia. Every time, though, you found you could not do more with what you were, that you needed to dwell among men again _as_ a man, to know what men truly need to dream. And now you will live among men humans again — the question is, as _whom_?"

As she said it, he Remembered, and Knew that she spoke truth. But he wasn't going to let her off the hook so easily — she still had not answered all his questions, and even in Knowing more, he didn't know _Everything_.

"So is that what you meant by me still being your brother? _Daniel_ is Dream, now; _he_ is your brother now, not I, even if I _can_ become Dream again someday."

She laughed again, and it was the sound of the earth trembling and the sea breaking upon the shore. "The Endless are just concepts, the purpose of which is to help shape and guide the souls of mortals. Each Endless is a mantle that can be donned and taken off by _any_ soul. Those wearing such a mantle Know things, Remember past selves of others who held their roles as if those lives had been their own, just as Daniel now Remembers _your_ life as Dream. All that we do as an Endless is a part of that Endless, eternally, no matter who is in the role at any given moment. The mantles are heavy, symbols of great responsibility. Who could fault any of us for taking a vacation now and again?

"We don't always become the _same_ Endless when we take up a mantle again, either. I was once Delirium. You'd be surprised how often we trade the roles with others. And in the way of the Endless, we mourn and move on, and soon forget that a change was ever made, so that it seems as though it was _always_ so. In fact, when I'm not helping the dying, even I can't remember _half_ of what I am telling you now. I only see these things, at this time, this moment when I'm with those that are 'in between'.

"So you see, brother, _that_ is how you are a soul right now, when you thought you were only a concept. Dream was just a notion, but a soul gave it life. Dream connects all things, reminds us that we are never apart, as does Death. Desire, Destiny — these are things the whole of reality Knows." She smiled ruefully. "Delirium is a newer, strictly human experience, I think. What else could come of mortals taking Delight in directions she was never meant to go? You were right when you told Desire that we live to serve them, not the other way around. I think ... I think what decisions the Endless make are in tandem with what the mortals decide — in essence, we are simply reflections of their whims. It's why we keep Changing, and never question how what once was Never often becomes What Had Ever Been. Like I said, soon it will be as if Daniel has Always been Dream. So long as there _is_ a Dream. few care whom it is."

"Then... I will be forgotten," the soul who had just been Dream mused. "Why did I ever fret over decisions I made? Why should I care now what happens?"

"No, you haven't been listening!" Death smiled as she chided him, and it was like the sun peeking through a stormcloud. Yet she ever reminded him of the moon shining brightly on a clear night."Daniel will remember what _you_ have done as if _he_ had done it. It _still happened_ — it's the office that bears the consequences. And you know full well from experience that dreams can have catastrophic effects on reality. Like how the brain records memories, so does the role of an Endless. The memories are necessary for the continuing function of it.

"Meanwhile, you, as a soul, must _also_ keep your own experiences — a copy, if you will — but it is the law of mortals that they not remember the experiences of other existences while they are alive, except for special circumstances. Unlike the Endless, mortals can't usually function with all their memories from life to life — it's too much. They need clean slates.

"As for being remembered ... you have changed things, Morpheus. Morpher. Shaper. Earth is becoming something else now. You, _your soul_ , was the seed. The rules are changing. In fact ...." She suddenly seemed uncertain, and he wasn't sure there was anything more frightening than death being uncertain. "Maybe I'm _wrong_ about Daniel one day seeming to have always been Dream. I mean, that's how it's always worked _before_ , but ... maybe you've changed _that_ , too!

"It already seems like Despair will remember you despite how, as Destiny would say, we are not supposed to. Delirium remembered her own death, when we were not meant to. I suppose part of it is their roles — Delirium sees all sorts of things that make no sense to others. But ... since your death, Morpheus, was a moment of great despair for all of us, I cannot see your death being forgotten this time — not completely. Maybe some will even _conciously_ remember you, even know that you were a Dream too. _Matthew_ will — I know it.

"But even if the others _don't_ remember you as you, nothing is ever truly gone or forgotten — only hidden until we need to remember again. Energy is never lost, only changed. Nothing can _ever_ disappear."

Something changed in her presence. Her demeanor became as one 'getting down to business'. "Now, I have others to take care of. As special as you are to me, I cannot stop the movement of the world for you. You must choose a new life."

He had a sudden feeling of pressure, and knew time was short. Were the sands he had commanded once — many times? — those of time rather than dreams, he might well have chosen a favorite moment with his sister and stopped them forever. He felt an overwhelming sense of loss — not over his life, but the sense that soon he was about to forget everything. He knew what he was feeling from her now, Knew what she had been trying to tell him. That she was not Death any more than he, the soul that was Morpheus, was Dream, yet they both were each other and more. That every soul came from Spirit, whatever _that_ was, and had a part of the Endless in them. That those who were known by those titles were simply those who were elected to oversee those matters, leaving everyone else free to live, and die, and live again. Everyone took turns. It was a pulse, a breath. Movement. And he knew suddenly that he was in the presence of more than Death, or the soul that he'd known as his sister. Every thought, every idea, every moment, all matter, all souls, made up this, the moment after "death", before moving on. And he knew he had to move on, that to stop was to stop existence from moving. But he still had a question.

"What _was_ it you had told me about Nada? I have forgotten."

"That you had to make right what you had done to her, of course! _You_ were the Dream that had imprisoned her; _you_ had to set her free. And now she is, and not long into her new life. You could be _mortals_ together, Morpheus."

He nodded as well as a soul could without a body. "I know, as I knew the dreams of all beings, whom I will choose, Midwife."

His sister seemed surprised. He felt great warmth from her, as one feels from a sister, but also a lover, and from a parent, love and hope of new beginnings, and the bittersweet sadness of a widow or childless mother.

"It has been so long since Death was called the Midwife. I had thought all had forgotten that name. You will bring great changes yet, Morphie, even as you leave the Endless to be a mortal again. Maybe one day this soul will join you among them ...."

And with that, Morpheus's next words were a cry as his — no, _her_ , for she was now a girlchild — little lungs tasted air again for the first time.

She felt the warm arms of her mother hold her close, felt her father's hand stroke her fine baby hair. Her infant brain heard but did not register her mother's words.

"I'm so glad I had her before we made the trip to Hong Kong! Imagine if I had gone into labor on the plane!"

_Nada..._ was the thought she had before dreams claimed her and the last of her memories.

AN ENDING


End file.
